Sugar and Spice and everything nice...

So for all of this talk about Sarah Palin and women and the glass ceiling, it occurred to me the other day that I lead an incredibly blessed life. I have wonderful friends and family, a great job, and though I work hard and often look at the bank account wondering where it all went, I generally lead a life free of want and certainly absent some of the terrible conditions I know so many suffer.

SO WHAT, you might be asking, does any of that have to do with Sarah Palin? Nothing really. What really occurred to me is that I am surrounded by incredible women - or at least those without a Y chromosome. I have a beautiful, talented, smart(ass) wife, two wonderful, curious, far-cuter-than-I daughters, a female cat, and I'll bet even all of my fish are female.

But let's speak frankly for a minute, if we can, about this "sugar and spice" business. I am a man of many flaws - I know this because I am married - and so it certainly isn't for me to point fingers at other people. But let's face it; little girls can be mean. And the author of this little "sugar and spice" ditty was either A) a little girl, or B) delusional. Or, perhaps, the writer was struck by lightning before being able to complete the stanza (ok, it was probably Robert Southey).

I would like to, in the interests of artistic license, take a whack at this. Here is the original stanza:

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails
That's what little boys are made of !"
What are little girls made of?
"Sugar and spice and all things nice
That's what little girls are made of!"

And here is Father Boxt's version, leading off with the little girls part:

What are little girls made of?
"Sugar and spice and all things nice
That's what little girls are made of!"

What more are little girls made of?
"3 am screaming and punching in the crotch,
fighting to take baths and more TV to watch,
Yelling in the car and pooping in their pants,
Crying that their lollipop is covered in red ants,
Dessert without dinner, pushing little sis,
throwing tantrums on the stairs, yes they DO do this."

But the real truth?
"The most beautiful thing I see, on any given day,
the sight of my girls smiling in their very own special way.
The words "I love you Daddy," nothing sweeter to the ear,
what little girls are made of, is everything I hold dear."

I know, I'm a cheeseball. What can I say? Guilty as charged.